A topic I’d like to discuss is children, or lack thereof. I have decided not to have children, which is becoming increasingly more common, but still often frowned upon.
I can’t tell you how many people have come up to me over the last 15-20 years asking if I have children. I say “No” and it’s usually followed with a “Why not?” or a “You’ll change your mind dear.” However, some people can be downright rude, saying things like “How can you not have kids?” or “What about your husband?- you must give him children!” No lie. Now, some people are much kinder, telling me I’m smart or it’s wise not to have kids if you know you don’t want them.
Personally, I’ve just never had that burning desire to have kids or any maternal instincts whatsoever. I actually feel like a bit of a freak when co-workers bring their babies in because I don’t run over to them with all the other ladies (where are the men, by the way?) and gush and coo. If it were a puppy, I would gush, coo, baby talk – the whole nine yards. I am partial to animals, but it’s not as if I can’t stand kids- hell, I was one once upon a time!
Maybe I’m just afraid. Truth be told, I can’t fathom having something I could love so much and possibly lose. My childhood (which I’ll go into more detail later), wasn’t exactly stellar, so I’d never want to put a kid through that. But despite it all, those fears could be worked through if I wasn’t truly content with things as they are.
I’m selfish- I like to go on vacation or simply come and go as I please without worrying about a babysitter. I’m rarely impulsive, but it simplifies things if you want to take off spur of the moment.
Besides that, I have plants that are only alive by the grace of God!
Like so many other issues, we are coming a long way about being accepting of the choice not to have children, but we still have a ways to go. I think it’s still more acceptable to have kids you can’t afford/take care of than have no kids at all. And don’t even think about having only one child, because society isn’t thrilled about that either! “What if something happens to your child? You won’t have a spare.” I have a friend who has a son and has been asked this numerous times.
Then there are the people who simply cannot have children or have great difficulty conceiving.
There are so many factors that go into the decision to have kids or not. It’s personal and every one of us makes that decision for themselves. I may regret not having kids, but I’d rather take a chance on that than have a child who deserves more than I’m willing to give. Until then, I have my two orange tabbies and to them, I’m Mom 🙂