Well, it’s the start of a new year, and for many of us that means intentions of losing weight and finally getting our eating habits dialed in. You may think that with all I know or claim to know about health and fitness that I would somehow be different- and you would be mistaken.
I came a long way in 2015. I learned the clarity of fasting, I started getting better sleep, I reaped the benefits of a gluten-free diet (more on those to come), and I kept alcohol and refined sugars to a minimum. I truly had never felt better and had no intentions of regressing. So what happened?
Marital issues. Anyone whose been married/living with someone for a decade or more knows no relationship is perfect. I plan on going into detail about these issues in the near future because obviously it’s relevant to my story, but also to let others know they aren’t alone. For now, I will say that my marriage is healthy and we are happy. We are not perfect, but we are actively dealing with our issues and moving forward. The irony is that the first blog articles I had written were about my marriage, but I wasn’t sure about posting such personal things just yet. So this is forcing me to go there, which is I believe will ultimately be a positive thing.
I don’t mean to make excuses, but I was thrown off guard and thus gave myself permission to indulge/binge during the holidays. I didn’t just fall off the wagon- I lost the friggin’ wagon!
I was once again reminded of the power of addiction. I felt like complete and utter crap! I was moody, slept poorly so I was always tired, I was in pain all over, my face was breaking out- and yet all I wanted to do was eat crap and drink alcohol. I looked forward to it as if it were the one thing in my life that didn’t suck- and I have a pretty good life!
So what would I have done differently had I been on the right path for me? I still would’ve indulged- just not every day for a month straight. I would’ve happily ate and drank what I wanted on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve. The rest of the time I would’ve kept doing what I was already doing, because I felt fantastic. I wasn’t sacrificing- I was living life to it’s fullest. The definition of that is different for everyone, but to me it means being the healthiest and happiest I can be- thriving not just surviving. Believe me, I spent many years just existing with little or no personal growth. That allowed my food addictions to take hold and depression/anxiety to set in.
Ultimately, I’m grateful for the setback in my marriage because it made us stronger, and it showed me that I’m human and will occasionally fall on my face. For 2016 I will make no resolutions, only life choices that I will surpass the progress I made last year and build on what I’ve learned.
May you all have a healthy and happy New Year!