It Ain’t Over Til It’s Over (pt.2)

3 Feb

February 2015.

My husband and I just finished the 21 day Primal Blueprint experiment. The results are nothing less than amazing! Collectively, we lost over 30 pounds and we are happier and have more energy than ever before.

Truth be told, I didn’t start this way of life ( I call it that because I don’t believe in dieting or fads) to lose weight- I did it to save my marriage. Sure, the things I listed above are worthwhile, and are bound to happen when you cut out sugar and processed foods from your diet, but we had a lot more at stake.

When I met my husband almost twelve years ago, he was a fit guy. I immediately fell for his hazel eyes, warm smile and well, nice body. We were like any couple just starting out who couldn’t get enough of each other.

We ended up moving from Littleton, CO to Fort Collins CO not quite a year later so he could continue college at CSU. The years went by and for him the pounds started to add on. It didn’t help matters that he went from having a physical job to a desk job. Between his school schedule, extracurricular activities and work, I found myself in a new town and often alone. By now we were engaged, and agreed that we’d wait until he graduated before marrying.
We had a date night once a week, which I looked forward to, but it wasn’t enough. I missed him terribly, and years later he would confide that he was “too busy” to miss me. It wasn’t that he didn’t love me or mind rarely seeing me, he was simply focused on achieving the goal of doing well in school and helping bring in an income. To this day, I love that when he sets his mind to do something – he does it wholeheartedly.
I never planned on having a wandering eye or obsessing over other guys, but that’s exactly what happened. Here I had the best guy in the world, but there was a wall there now- a distance that only grows if you don’t deal with it as soon as possible. We were too focused on for him- academics, and for me- depression and loneliness. I feared that I was regressing to my former self ( a lot more on that later), and jeopardizing everything I had. It didn’t stop me though. My flirting and careless ways persisted.

By the time my husband graduated, we were like strangers. We had dreamed of getting to this place where all the sacrifices we had made would lead us to more income, opportunities and most of all- more time together. It also meant time to plan a wedding. By now I had expressed my concerns about his weight- mainly his health, and my lack of attraction as tactfully as I could. I still hated myself for not being able to simply accept him how he was. I mean, the love was still there right? I even told him about my thinking of other guys. Maybe I thought it would motivate him to get healthy- maybe he would kick me to the curb. I didn’t know what to expect really. I had no way of predicting the sequence of events to follow- and neither did he…