This is an article I’ve been wanting to write for a while now, because of how important I feel it is.
As many of you know, I’m a huge proponent of talk therapy. I have participated in therapy for almost thirty years, and it has saved my life on numerous occasions. However, the quality of the treatment you are receiving is paramount.
Many years ago, I was seeing a counselor and in my opinion, she had no business treating people. She made me feel worse than I did when I initially began counseling. It was obvious to me that she was judging me and was not approving of the decisions I was making. To be clear- this is NOT ok!!! Your therapist should NEVER make you feel judged or worse about yourself!
In many cases, you’ll learn some difficult things about yourself or others, but you should always be left with a sense of hope and clarity.
I was fortunate that I had been to a psychologist prior to her that I felt compatible with (unfortunately she moved), so I knew what she was doing wasn’t right, and I knew to see someone else immediately.
I should note, at the time I was broke and seeking help from counselors who worked pro bono. It’s critical I mention that because a lot of people feel that if they don’t have money they can’t be too picky.
I’m here to tell you that regardless of your budget, please ensure that you feel safe with and trusting of whomever you’re being treated by. Be your own advocate, because seeing the wrong psychologist can do even more harm, which is the last thing a person needs.
It seems that in our society, we’re often more discerning about the barista getting our coffee order right or the hairdresser cutting our hair correctly than we are about getting/demanding what we need from our therapists. I believe that’s because only one of those things has a stigma attached to it- the one directly associated with our emotional and mental well-being.
The only way to change that is to talk about it.
I hope this helps someone out there, and I hope that you’re not settling in any area of your life- because you deserve better;)