Before I go into how friggin’ happy I am to announce that my book has been published, I feel I owe my readers an apology. Two months ago I posted about starting ketamine therapy and have yet to share the follow-up. Normally I don’t leave you in the lurch like that; however, the plan was to wait until I finished the process, which took longer than expected. Then my book came out a few weeks ago, which has been all-consuming. Anyway, because I want to do the second ketamine article justice and not be preoccupied, it will be my next project- I promise!
So, the last time I wrote about my book I had just found an illustrator (my second attempt). Yvette turned out to be absolutely perfect for the job! Once she was finished, I got even luckier in that my therapist’s brother in law, who works for an ad agency, wanted to work on the graphics for my cover. He did such an awesome job, and made my cover even better than I had imagined!
However, there were a few hiccups trying to get my memoir published through KDP (Amazon’s self publishing division), like figuring out how to get the cover to not be backwards, and the fact that the last sentence of some of the pages turned out to be off center, but with Rick’s help we got it worked out.
Since my book came out, it’s been quite the emotional rollercoaster ride as well- which I had not expected. But expectations, as it turns out, are only helpful if you know how to manage them, and apparently I have a ways to go in that department. You see, I had done my best to prepare for things like stepping out of my comfort zone in order to promote my book, and possibly even backlash, because when your story intertwines with so many others, well, you just never know. What I hadn’t thought to prepare for was that people are going to surprise you. There will be those who you really expected/hoped to be supportive, that end up being completely indifferent, which is very painful. On the other hand, there are those whom you think won’t really care, and they end up being your biggest fans!
When I was experiencing a particularly low point, I wrote this on a post-it note and put it on my mirror: “It isn’t people that hurt you, it’s your expectations of people that hurt you. Manage your expectations and thrive!” My therapist was quite thrilled with my ability to glean perspective so quickly after I had revisited the darkness. Though it did help me to find my power in the situation, I’m not gonna lie, some of it still stings- I am human, after all.
I think if the expectation is that people you consider to be like family not be apathetic in regards to the biggest accomplishment of your life, you’re not asking too much. That said, the unending lesson of learning where we stand with people, and thus where they stand with us, is ever-present; also, I can simultaneously honor my feelings while being damn excited about what the future holds!
In light of that enthusiasm, it just so happens that one of my dearest friends who is very educated in the marketing field, is super-excited to help me get my memoir out into the world, and with the additional help of my amazingly supportive roommate Jess, we have countless ideas to incorporate!
One thing I’m sure of is that this book is destined to affect and help many, many people! It is also a stepping stone for me to realize my true potential and live my purpose. I am grateful for the lessons and the adventures that lie ahead, because whether they are painful or beautiful, growth will be the inevitability of all that forward momentum:)