One thing I can attest to is that publishing my book completely changed my life. Given that I’m seeing pretty much everything with new eyes these days, I’m able to say that if the last 6-7 months were a test, I likely failed with flying colors, but in retrospect, who’s to say that’s a bad thing?
In April of this year I found myself in the extremely unfamiliar territory of not only having to promote a product, but in many ways, having to promote myself as well. Awkward! Fortunately for me, I was under the guidance of a well-intentioned friend who was heavy into marketing, and thus an agreement was made: she would help ensure the visibility of my memoir and in turn, once that took off, I would provide a testimonial for her future marketing business. Given that she had extensive knowledge in this area, and because I knew virtually nothing about it, I went all in. That said, I’m a grown-ass woman, and I take full responsibility for any tears I may have shed, or breakdowns that absolutely took place during this endeavor.
What then ensued was a whirlwind of creating content in the form of videos, FB pages, and even an advertisement (which never saw the light of day). When the audio version of my book came out, I distributed a bunch of promo codes (which never got redeemed because once you sign up for Audible you automatically get two free downloads for any book you want, and they make it difficult to access the promo code section, however, should you find it, promo codes can also be used for any book you want. This makes it really challenging for a new author to get recognition, but it’s a win-win for Audible). Then I signed up for a $1000 coaching course by Tony Robbins (because hello? how could that ever be a bad thing?), only to realize that that course would eventually lead to a $6000 upsell (which thankfully I did not purchase).
All this to say, I was rowing REALLY hard in the wrong direction!
Upon reflection, I had succumbed to the mentality that my melancholy mood was the result of me merely stepping out of my comfort zone and nothing more. Sure, I was miserable from the onset of this new adventure, but that would eventually subside once I got adjusted to it, right? These were simply growing pains as I became the person I was truly meant to be, but feared I’d never become, or so I told myself. I bought into the notion that the only way to make it is to hustle nonstop and sell! Sell! Sell!
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not against putting my nose to the grindstone and rolling up my sleeves. But after several months of constantly feeling rejected and believing I was nothing more than a failure, I realized that the real issue came down to one thing…authenticity. Most of the paths I’d been traveling down did not feel aligned in the slightest. They weren’t necessarily wrong, they just weren’t right for me; and I was so hell-bent on making things work that I couldn’t/wouldn’t see it.
It saddens me that it took years to publish my book- so much went into it, and I probably let myself enjoy it for a total of three days, because who cares about your accomplishment if no one knows it exists? The only solution I knew of to this conundrum was to do whatever it took to make sure people were aware of my memoir, and it didn’t matter if my sanity was the casualty of this particular battle.
Once that all sunk in, a difficult discussion was had with my friend to omit the business aspect of our interactions. I believe this was in the best interest of each party, given the nuances of both our lives. That said, any true friend will support you doing what is best for you, no matter how much it may throw a wrench into things- a universal truth!
Fortunately, a lot of good came out of this whole experience as well: my roommate made some awesome bookmarks to promote my book, blog, and FB page. Also, I’m really proud of the Finding Clear Water Community page, which wouldn’t exist without the help and support of these two wonderful ladies!
I must emphasize that this doesn’t mean I’ve given up on my dream of becoming a best-selling author/ life coach. What it means is I finally understand that not only will my memoir reach the people it’s intended to find, but it will do so when it’s meant to happen. However, I can’t force it- I can only continue forward momentum in a way that encourages me to stay true to who I am.
Honoring my authenticity means I no longer have to fake a damn thing, and that is what feels most aligned to me!