I know some people were concerned after my last article and truth be told, I was scared too. I posted two videos on my FB page, Finding Clear Water Community, explaining my experience. Now that more time has passed, I feel compelled to share even more insights about what I recently went through. Please be prepared because like those videos, I’m holding nothing back.
I got my Paraguard IUD implanted in November of 2017. Because it was non hormonal and highly recommended by my doctor, it seemed like a no-brainer, and aside from some heavier than normal periods, I had no complaints. Looking back, it’s hard to say if it was affecting me negatively at that time because I was going through a divorce- in other words, I was already an emotional trainwreck.
Fast forward to January of 2023. My depression had escalated, and though it was highly situational, the darkness was causing my suicidal ideation to ramp up; thus, I began ketamine treatments, which I’ve dedicated several blog articles to. Admittedly, this year in particular has been a rough one emotionally, but what I didn’t know is that things were about to get far worse.
During the entire month of August and part of July and September, I had a period that lasted 45 days. I ended up getting an ultrasound which showed my IUD had become embedded in my uterine wall. It also said the IUD had become fragmented. I was panic-stricken, but my Dr.- the same one who recommended the IUD, didn’t seem concerned. The next course of action was to have it removed, but it wasn’t an urgent matter so I got it taken out more than a month later, which was a mistake that almost cost me my life!
In the weeks leading up to the removal, my mental health deteriorated drastically. I went from occasionally pondering what it would be like to not have the stresses of life on Earth, to having a legit plan as to how I would end my life. Everything seemed pointless- including my ketamine therapy. Any semblance of joy was overridden by the knowledge that I still wanted to die. I had a colonoscopy appointment during this time, and I almost told the surgeon to let me die on the table if any complications should arise. How convenient it would be to not even have to commit suicide! I opted to say nothing for fear I might be committed. I could think of few worse things than being drugged against my will and forced to keep on living- thanks, but no thanks!
The day I finally got my IUD out, my Dr. entered the room and asked how I was doing. Normally I can fake it pretty well even if I’m not doing great just to move things along, but this time I burst into hysterics and could not stop bawling. When she asked if I was safe, I said I didn’t know, but please don’t let “them” take me away.
My boyfriend had mentioned days before that perhaps my IUD could be playing a role in all of this. I didn’t give it much thought though, mostly because I was past the point of caring or having any hope things could get better. I should note that I wrote my last blog article in this state. I fought damn hard to write something honest, but hopefully not sound any alarms, which proved to be quite the balancing act.
My Dr. ended up prescribing Seroquel to help with my symptoms and aid my sleep; she also insisted I come in for a follow-up in 2 weeks- but more importantly, she got the damn IUD out!!! She also assured me that despite what the ultrasound showed, my IUD was 100% intact. The next morning, it was like a giant black cloud had been removed from my entire being.
It has been almost a month since that appointment, and I have never felt more peaceful and less depressed in my whole life! I never took the Seroquel- I simply didn’t need to. When I met with my Dr. she was astounded at the progress I’d made, especially since the Paraguard is non hormonal.
This a common misconception- that because this type of IUD contains no hormones, it can’t cause any emotional issues. On the contrary, copper toxicity alone can cause a wide array of problems ranging from anxiety, depression, thoughts of suicide, and psychosis. I don’t know that I had toxicity, but according to the nurse who prescribes my ketamine, inflammation can cause depression, so it stands to reason that an IUD embedded in my uterine wall was likely ramping up the inflammation in my body. I also was experiencing severe hair loss during this time; way more than my alopecia ever caused, and that’s saying a LOT! My Dr. also seemed shocked when I told her there is currently a class action lawsuit against Paraguard. Apparently, they can start to fall apart after a while- especially during the removal process, leaving behind metal fragments that need to be surgically removed.
That said, my intention with this article is not to be a fear monger, but simply to tell my story. To me, the timing of my new lease on life and my IUD removal cannot be coincidental. I know some women love their IUDs, and I sincerely hope they don’t experience the things I did, or worse.
I do believe however, that as women, we deserve to know the possible ramifications of any type of contraception we may choose. This becomes increasingly difficult when our own doctors are trained that either these potential symptoms are so rare they don’t deserve to be mentioned; or even worse, that because they’re so unlikely, maybe they don’t exist at all, and therefore our symptoms likely reside only in our heads.
It’s difficult to get past knowing that I almost lost my life because I’d lost all hope, and the reason remains a mystery in the medical community. I can’t change the system, but I can encourage you to listen to your body, and if something feels off or you notice a sudden, drastic change in your emotional stability, please get help. Normally I don’t encourage scouring the internet for answers, but in my case, I learned I wasn’t alone, and that benefitted me tremendously.
So with that, I wish you all health, love and happiness- whatever that looks like for you:)