Like many other times in my life, I’ve found myself at an impasse career wise. However, unlike times past, these days I have ketamine at my disposal. With over twenty sessions under my belt, I’ve realized that it not only helps with my depression, but sometimes (and especially if I go into a session with a clear question or intention), I get some pretty straightforward and distinct answers. Sometimes they are downright shocking, but I’ve always found them to be quite helpful.
About a month ago I had a session and the answer was clear- “Music is everything!” I had just joined an online membership forum called Verse-Chorus, and was about to invest some serious time and energy writing and posting lyrics in hopes of a collaboration. However, my life-coaching training had fallen by the wayside, and given that it’s a more responsible career choice than lyric writing, I wasn’t sure which I should prioritize. As I spit out the remnants of the lozenge I’d been swishing, laid back, put on my eye mask and turned on my meditation music, I received the message.
So for a month I wrote nonstop and have made many connections in the industry. A lot remains to be seen as far as where it all will go, but I planted some damn good seeds.
That said, I was also becoming obsessive about it, and it wasn’t always healthy emotionally. I realized I needed to take a step back from songwriting- not quit, but just give myself some space. I ended up feeling lost again, and so during ketamine last week I got more clarity than I’d anticipated.
It was like hearing a voice that’s not male or female- it’s just from within yourself. I call it my higher self.
This is what it had to say this time- “Had your book taken off, you would’ve thought that was your path. Had you gotten immediate success writing songs, you would’ve thought that was your path. You are all three: you are a writer, a lyricist, and a soon to be life coach. Your all or nothing approach to life doesn’t serve you, as it makes you feel that you have to choose. Get back into life coaching. It’s ok to take breaks. Recognize that you are all that aligns with your purpose.”
The life coach path is a tough one for me. Last year when I was all gung ho about it, I had two major setbacks. I had been doing a course from Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi. The course itself was great- admittedly, I’m only halfway through, however there was a strong push by one of their salespeople to upsell me on a course that would “Be necessary to get me where I desired to be.” Not only could I not afford this second course, but it was promising the things I’d been assured I would receive from the first one. So I took a break.
Then, I had the Paraguard IUD debacle. It became embedded in my uterine wall and I ended up feeling so suicidal, likely as a result of heightened inflammation, that I almost didn’t make it. It was removed on 11-2-23, and I posted a couple videos chronicling my experience on my FB page Finding Clear Water Community.
So, moving forward (and thanks to the assistance of ketamine) I shall be resuming my life coach studies, my writing, and my lyric writing. I think this healthier, more open-minded approach to life is what they call balance? I’ll keep you posted as I explore this unfamiliar territory;)