I launched my ketamine/spiritual mentoring business on 9/29/24, which was the fifteenth anniversary of my mother’s passing. I chose that particular date because I wanted to give birth to something on a day I had associated with profound loss, and reframe the narrative that that anniversary was supposed to be painful and difficult. Spiritually speaking, what that day truly represents, is transformation on many levels since I don’t believe we ever actually die. But in terms of starting a career path, I’ve been here before. I’ve believed in something with every fiber of my being and then had my heart crushed upon realizing it wasn’t going to happen- at least not on the timeline I had envisioned. I began wondering, how could I ever have faith in my intuition again when it had seemingly been so untrustworthy in the past?
In order to answer this question I needed to face the truth of who I was before as opposed to who I am now. The fact is, when I published my memoir last year I was a much different person. I rarely ever left the safety bubble of my home; also, I interacted primarily with just my roommate and my then-boyfriend. If there was an opposite for the term social butterfly, that was me!
In hindsight, I was also clearly coming from a place of fear and desperation, convincing myself that my book had to be a huge success- enough of a success to justify walking away from the job I’d worked at for decades. That enormous amount of pressure, coupled with the fact that I was essentially unknown and had no marketing skills whatsoever, led to dismal, yet predictable book sales. I wasn’t just disappointed- I was yet again barreling towards a deep depression; thank God I’d just started a ketamine protocol and had added that to my toolkit!
However, that experience, as devastating as it was, enabled me to build a thicker skin and realize that it’s okay if things don’t work out the way I planned. The fact is, they rarely ever do. Additionally, I now believe that my ketamine/mentoring business never would’ve come to light had my book taken off back then. I say that because the plan was to piggyback off of the bestselling author title and parlay that into a life coaching career; but if I’m honest, my heart was never fully invested in the whole life coach thing.
Regardless, Heather from one year ago wasn’t being honest with herself. I was hell-bent on rowing that boat upstream at all costs! I was also devastated when the life coach course I’d committed to led to a very uncomfortable and disheartening upsell situation. I’d already invested $1000, but if I truly wanted to succeed, it was going to cost $6000 more- or so I was told. Another redirect.
Fast forward almost a year- I was referred to a place called the Be Free healing center here in Fort Collins. I was beyond nervous as I spoke to the owner, Melanie, about my ketamine sitting business.
For those who don’t know, this is called networking, and it cannot be done in the safety and comfort of keeping to yourself!
Luckily for me, I felt at peace there, and Melanie was very kind and patient. She advised me to take some classes where I could get to know more people and just get out in the community in general. It then occurred to me that THIS is how it happens! I can hand out business cards all day long and obsess over the right business model, but actually connecting with other humans in my area was the secret sauce!
Nothing was going to fall in my lap, and simply creating my business wasn’t going to get others to care about or be made aware of its existence. Think about the podcasts you listen to or people/organizations you follow on social media. They all make you FEEL something; because if you were indifferent, you wouldn’t bother.
That said, this next chapter involves me busting out of my shell once and for all. Forward momentum requires that I face my fears and dive headfirst into uncharted territory; and make no mistake, I’m scared shitless and I have no clue what I’m doing! But now I know fear isn’t a signal to stop- in this context (the one where I pursue my dreams), it’s a sign that maintaining this momentum is a must.
Now I know that what I had once perceived as failure was actually a higher power, (Source, God, etc.) redirecting me, and therefore, there was never a reason to doubt my intuition to begin with. I’ve also decided to eradicate the word failure from my vocabulary because we either have momentum or we don’t- we’re either learning and evolving, or we’re not; but regardless where we fall on that scale, we are NOT failures, ever!